The Fallen

[darkdance (deleted)]

Through the desolate waste
of the ruined city I pass homes in ruin
Like the carcass of a giant
skyscrapers are white ribs
Bleached by the blistering sun

The wind smells sickly like a hospital
or is it a morgue
For they are one in the same

Through the rubble I see her
Huddled on the street corner
A fire in a oil drum lights her pale skin
a black bird feeds from her hands

She cries
And it rains

Rain washes away the grime
The grime of a thousand year drought
What happened to this place
It was once a home for millions
Now home to but one

How long have you been here?
My life and a day she cries
What happened here?
War, Hate, Greed, Mankind
Why?
That I do not know.

She looks deep inside me and speaks again
in a soothingly haunted voice,
I was forsaken by a mother I never knew
Raised by a friend long gone
before the war, the hate, and greed
I’ve seen it all, rise and fall around me

I help her to her feet,
I see she seems so old, yet for ever young
But that was over 100 years ago

I know, I am eons old
Seen the rise and fall of mighty nations
All ----ing for one thing
Power, over man, over death,
Over the very gods them self

Lived a thousand lives,
Died a thousand deaths
Been called mad
Beaten, tossed aside
By both man and societies

Nothing lasts, forever
Nothing but love
But my love died many years ago,
before coming to this land
before coming to this Earth
He is forever with me,
Yet forever lost

And she cries
And it rains
And I weep beside her
Another, like I
Ageless, yet old and tired
Ready to rest,
ready to return to love

[darkdance (deleted)]

So, like do people not reply to poetry post? So many threads and noa a single reply. whats up I'm sure I'm not the only one looking for feedback.

[sxylena422 (deleted)]

ur poem truely speaks to me..its depressing it made me cry..but every word sounded like you were heart broken and ready to fall in love again?

~*Lena*~

[darkdance (deleted)]

Yeah, it was writen nearly 2 years after a nasty breakup that tore me up, it's a self exploratory piece you could say.

[tyreal (deleted)]

I am new to this site, so Hi all

but anywho I see that you two are the only ones to actually to reply.

its insane you would think that everyone would be all over this.

Well, anyways I shall say, This poem.

It seems that it is all about the choas of apocalypse or about a ruin city and the girl in this poem seems to me to represent Mother earth.

but that is just my opinion.

[theladyofshalot (deleted)]

Mother Earth indeed. and the 'He' is Time, no?
It is a gorgeous poem.
It talks so deep... I feel bad for you. I'll be you are like me; unable to get a true critique because all people can go on about is how good it is because that is all they have to say, as they are not able to understand it.

I liked your technique. You made it a perfect length, though I fear, were it any longer, you may have dagged it out too long. But it was true.
It was observant of the real perspective of that which life is now, even. And in our *cough cough* blistfull ignorance (or arrogance, shall I say), people do not see it. They forget it. They are blind to it.

It creates this feeling of overwhelmingness- that is why people cry. they are actually scred of it. Like swimming in the middle of an ocean, or floating in space.

The tones of the characters within are wise and learning at the same time.

Bravo!
i really enjoyed your poem!

[theladyofshalot (deleted)]

And I read under your profile...

"I'm a poet (though admitadly not that great) "

can i just say...
what a great heap of BS.
there. now you know.